CK's Blog

Praise for My Safe & Sexy City (thank you!)

Dear NYC Dept. of Health:

I made a promise to myself to follow-up after our "social event" to thank you, and to praise you. You see, as part of the favors for event-goers on Friday night we wanted to feature special "NYC Survival Kits" given that a whopping 75% of attendees traveled from outside the NYC metro area to attend.

The NYC bags were all sorts of fun and featured (1) the infamous "I heart NY" t-shirts (thank you to the man on the street for $2-a-pop bulk pricing!), (2) special edition NYC moleskine notebooks (graciously given by ClikitySplit), (3) hefty NYC guidebooks (given by NYC Convention & Visitors Bureau) and NYC-branded condoms.

You see, I was so proud of my city for devising this free condom program early last year that I promoted it through a post over at MarketingProfs. I even asked readers to weigh in with great taglines for the condoms (hey, we're marketers, devising nifty taglines get us, um, excited).

The message this move communicated to me was and still is this: free condoms do not promote more sex...they promote more safe sex. And I am so proud of my city for taking this step and practicing socially responsible marketing.

What's more? I was amazed that when I asked you via email for hundreds of free condoms, not only did you not judge my excessive request, you got back to me within 4 hours (wowsa!) and asked me to simply call for an appointment to pick them up.

(Maybe you could work on the DMV's attitude while you're at it?)

It has long been known that NYC is the safest large city (insofar as crime rates), but I'm happy to say that, due to your efforts, it might just be the safest large city for sex, too. And while I won't cite the woman's name that helped me here (she might not like that), I will be calling her supervisor to sing her praises. Moreover, it needs to be known that while people rag on city agencies for being slow and apathetic, she was expeditious, kind and even excited that people from so many states and countries might get an official New York City condom.

You make me proud to be a citizen of this safe city. For real. And should you ever need a tagline for your campaign...free ideas are located here and here.

Respectfully,
- CK

PS: Yes, that it what 500 NYC-branded condoms looked like on my apartment floor before I stuffed them into the goodie bags. (OK, so I only stuffed 480 into the goodie bags. I figured I might as well save some, a girl's gotta be safe ;-)

In fact, NYC truly is the city that never sleeps. We're too busy sleeping with our drivers, escorts and extra-marital lovers.

I heart New York. I really do.

A magical place, it's the city of constant surprise.

But this last seven days has surprised us even more than usual. In a nutshell (and I can't imagine there will be updates being we've now run through every Governor, ex-Governor and Lieutenant Governor in the greater metropolitan region):

First, New York's Governor goes all wild thing with the call girl formerly known as "Kristen". And now he's an ex-Governor.

Then, our neighbor state New Jersey's ex-Governor (who had to resign in 2006 for a sex scandal) reveals that he had three-ways with his wife and driver. Wait...that's not true; the driver reveals it. The ex-Governor admits to it. The ex-Governor's ex-wife does not. Whatnot.

Finally, our new New York Governor--new as in gave his inaugural speech YESTERDAY because of our aforementioned ex-Governor resigning last week--has admitted to extra-marital affairs a few years back. It's not so much a scandal because it's year's back; it's just that it's revealed on the very day he gives his first speech in the role as our squeaky-clean new leader.

The kicker? That in a city famous for its five-star hotels...he openly discusses meeting her at The Days Inn Hotel. (You've no idea what a field day New Yorkers are having with this disclosure.)

I really don't care what people do on their own time, be it with their own mates or paid playmates. But it is just a very, very weird week here with ex-Governors, ex-Governor's escorts, ex-Governors' wives, ex-Governor's drivers, and new Governor's ex-lives at budget-friendly hotels.

Dare I say...can we please just get back to governing? Pass a law. Scheme some strategies on fixing the economic meltdown. Assign a task force! Figure out a new literacy initiative. Something...anything...that smacks of actual legislation or socially advancing initiatives.

Speaking of advancing socially, I can't wait to see over 80 amazing marketing bloggers coming in 17 days for Blogger Social--yep, being held, right here in New York City, the best city on earth for socializing. Because we truly are the city that never sleeps.

But our government sure does get around.

This is the best that the best city on earth could come up with?

I'm very let down with the new NYC campaign (the spot is below, RSS readers go here). I don't understand what "This is New York City" is supposed to convey. I certainly understand what "The city that never sleeps," "The Big Apple," and "The city at the center of the world," communicate.

But "This is New York City" doesn't say anything. In Spanish it translates to "Welcome to New York."

It's a platform that's blah, blech and boring.

And NYC is none of those things.

You know what's great about this city? Where to start...the energy, history, culture, savvy, vibrancy and diversity...just to name a few attributes.

And these are all very real.

Yet, as you can see in the spot, the tourism bureau has animated it so it looks like a theme park (a really bad theme park at that). They put wings on the Chrysler building (wtf, is it supposed to be Big Bird?) and Lady Liberty looks like a big dork waving at you. Lady Liberty is majestic, not a moron. I'm not sure what to make of that bobblehead Yankees pitcher. Yeah, let's give the Red Sox another reason to laugh at us.

At least when tourists come to the city they can say "It''s even better than in the ad!"

And you don't hear that a lot.

To think of all the advertising brilliance this city boasts and comes out with this.

So if you're ever wondering what $30 million dollars will get you in NYC, now you know.

Sorry world, as a New Yorker I take the mediocrity to heart (another thing about this city is just how much heart it has...which is why the "I HEART NY" slogan will always convey NYC). Come visit this great city I call home and you won't be let down ;-).

Bloomie goes indie: non-partisan a trend?

A break from marketing to talk politics (but the non-partisan kind). If you haven't heard, NYC Mayor Bloomberg has left the G.O.P. and gone independent. Bloomberg--who was a long-time Democrat and switched to the Republican party to run for mayor in 2001--has done well by our city and I think this move sends a strong message about issues over parties. (Do hope the message doesn't fall on deaf ears.)

Thought you folks might enjoy the text of his speech:

"I have filed papers with the New York City Board of Elections to change my status as a voter and register as unaffiliated with any political party. Although my plans for the future haven’t changed, I believe this brings my affiliation into alignment with how I have led and will continue to lead our city.

A nonpartisan approach has worked wonders in New York: we’ve balanced budgets, grown our economy, improved public health, reformed the school system and made the nation’s safest city even safer.

We have achieved real progress by overcoming the partisanship that too often puts narrow interests above the common good. As a political independent, I will continue to work with those in all political parties to find common ground, to put partisanship aside and to achieve real solutions to the challenges we face.

Any successful elected executive knows that real results are more important than partisan battles and that good ideas should take precedence over rigid adherence to any particular political ideology. Working together, there’s no limit to what we can do."

Yeah, there's speculation galore about plans for the presidency but, personally speaking, it's a good day in NY. Full article here.

Super Model Gets 'Hit' With Super Chores

Mom always said if I used foul language she'd wash my mouth out with a bar of soap (and grandma nearly did one time) so I guess it's fitting that when you hit another person that hasn't provoked you the city of New York makes you mop its floors. According to Reuters:

"British beauty Naomi Campbell will swap her catwalk outfits for a broom, gloves and safety vest when she begins mopping floors at New York's Sanitation Department on March 19, a court official confirmed Tuesday.

Campbell, who was sentenced to community service as punishment for throwing her mobile phone at her housekeeper, will serve her five-day sentence indoors."

One time I had to mop my high school's floors and clean graffiti-filled walls for 4 hours (on a Saturday morning!) for skipping school. But Campbell has been accused by at least three employees of hitting or otherwise assaulting them. She blames her temper on "lingering resentment toward her father for abandoning her as a child."

I just can't figure a way for her publicists to spin this other than getting her to be a spokesperson for a tricked-out, bejeweled cellphone that is "just too fabulous to throw at anyone". Or perhaps she should support an anti-Deadbeat Dad charity as a more productive, passionate vehicle for her anger. Thoughts?

Uh, Naomi, when you're finished with the Sanitation Department, just head uptown a few blocks as my hardwood floors could use a polishing...just leave your cellphone at home, ok?

Oh what the community hath wrought...

It started innocently enough. Well maybe not so innocently...but for a good cause. In my push for promoting socially responsible practices, I learned NYC will be touting an official city condom as part of its impressive marketing strategies to decrease the spreading of STDs and HIV-AIDS.

So I thought why not ask you smart marketers for some great copy for the wrappers to generate more awareness while involving the community? And you guys and gals gave me your best lines, check out the ideas 48 hrs. later:

• My suggestion? "I heart NY...and tonight, I heart you."
• Stephen Denny "conceived" this goodie: "If you can make it HERE, you'll make it anywhere."
• Tammy Strnatka leveraged a fear angle with: "Put on a condom or die!" and "Love Kills". Tammy, I'm afraid.
• Social marketing smartie Nedra Weinreich had 2 goodies: first, "For the Big Apple's Big Bananas" and second "Safe Sex in the City"...to which I say, Carrie & Co. would be proud.
• Drew McLellan also offered not one but two with, "Unless you REALLY love her, wear it." and "The price of not wearing this? Child support."
• Paul Barsch suggested a rubber bracelet, akin to Lance Armstrong's "Livestrong" circlet encouraging waiting with: "Save IT for Marriage"
• Mad Ave'r McHale did the math with: "Suffication + Stuffication = Studfication". McHale, you were listening in class.
• Michelle Mullen advocates different messages and packaging the condoms like the candy hearts at Valentines with different sayings on them like "You're special," "I love you," "I respect you," "I'm a safety girl," "I'm doing a science project and I need your help" "Yes it's a large and it does fit".
• Mark Goren went ALL OUT with designer Ryan Mesheau and made two designs. I've shown one at the top right of this post (snazzy, eh?) but the other one you'll have to hop to his blog for...and it involves Lady Liberty and that's all I'm saying.
• Chris Blackman went "old book" with this thinking..."So let me see if I got this: Back in the Garden of Eden, Eve was offering Adam the Big Apple? Maybe the condoms could be sold with a slogan: "Give in to the Big Apple of Temptation." To which I suggested "Give in (safely) to the Big Apple of Temptation". Eve is grinning, I just know it. Adam not so much.
• And Laurence-Helene suggested colourful badge-type wrappers with a short and punchy message akin to these.
• Vaspers turned a witty tattoo phrase into a safety line with "This doesn't mean I love you."
• Matt Dickman went all double entendre with us touting the benefit angle and, um, you know, in his suggestion of "Live Long."
• Rebecca Edmonston suggested a wrapper with a subway logo and the copy: "The safest ride in NYC."

Please feel free to voice in; but over there so I can keep track of all these goodies. I'll be submitting them to the City later this week--they didn't ask for them, mind you, but when did that stop us from doing great work for a good cause?! Remember, the copy needs a NY angle. You marketers sure are smart (and sexy, to boot).

Note: Artwork above courtesy of Mark Goren and Ryan Mesheau.

Let's get it on marketers...

My city's got me talking sex. What, you thought I wouldn't talk sex on my blog? Actually, you're right. Why post on sex here when I can push the limits with a larger audience over there?  Especially since those readers would love to hear about something other than The Book Club--though I contend books are very sexy subject matter, too.

Oh, and in my push for promoting socially responsible practices I'm also asking for your ideas on copy for branded condom wrappers. Yeah, you read that last sentence right. So let's brainstorm and get, uh, ballsy.

I'm no tease, you needn't hold out any longer--just hop on over to "The Fix" and let's talk (safe) sex. C'mon, let's just do it already...

NYC hearts you (and your money).

Living in a city with "tourists, tourists everywhere" you can basically ignore them or scream at them. Often enough they're in your way when you need to go places--and we always need to go places in this on-the-go city.

So it's common to hear my friends gripe and bemoan "'ugh, here they come," "great another convention" and "f**kin' tourists".

That's when I remind them just how much we need to love them. If for nothing else, their money. See people are quick to forget how hard our tourism was hit after the attacks. We needed you guys and you guys came through.

And in true city spirit we've been doing a bang-up job in getting people and their money here. The mayor's office just reported that, in 2006:

44 million of you came and supported our city...and hopefully, we swindled beacoup bucks out of you...

...oh wait, we did! In this year alone we got $24 billion of your disposable income. You disposed of it well.

Travelers from Britain led the non-domestic way -- accounting for 1.2 million of the estimated 7 million foreign tourists while the other 37 million visitors came from elsewhere in the U.S. So lots of cultures and culture clashes. That's just how we like it.

And for the estimated 1.8 million of you coming into Times Square tonight --and trust me, all 1.8 million will be tourists as living here we just don't hang there on New Year's Eve--I say: NY hearts YOU (I thank you, too).

P.S.: Early in his first term Bloomberg was quick to implement and hire the role of City CMO. Being a billionaire business man, 'twas natural to him that marketing is top priority :-).

Turning "Sucks" into Sales.

Oh how I'm reminded daily...and every Christmas season...why I'm so in love with this city. Flat sales got you down? Don't get bummed, get ballsy! What a brilliant tactic to move merchandise when sales are in a slump: one of the merchants in the heavily congested Times Square Area has decided to keep it real with the "Business SUCKS Sale". And as a result, it doesn't suck to be them.

That's me on the left pointing to their "sucky" signage...and on the right you can see where they've had the following tagline etched on their window: "The Most Photographed Sale In The World."

I asked if sales were in a slump and they just grinned like the cat that ate the canary. Well done boys...way to turn a weakness into a strength sale.

I Heart NY (more than ever).

As we mark the distance of 5 years there will be many solemn, reflective posts on 9/11. I thought I'd use mine to answer a question. It matters not where you live as we were all affected by the tragedies. But, being a New Yorker, I get a lot of questions from people all over about that day. Most recently it's this one: Have people in NY forgotten?

It's impossible to forget how naive we felt that morning being certain the first plane crash was an accident, how anxious we felt that afternoon when buildings and planes continued to crash around us and how angry we became in the days after as our emergency rooms stood ready for someone, anyone, to be rescued. We so desperately needed for there to be survivors.

How to forget how eerily quiet the city that never sleeps was for days, maybe weeks, thereafter? Or the vacant look on everyone's face? How to forget being at a complete loss as to how to ask one of my best friends if her husband, who worked in the North Tower, was alive? How does one ask those words? And when I could get through and her husband answered, my relief was so overwhelming it felt as if I'd taken my first breath since the towers fell. We so desperately needed relief.

Most of all, how to forget the wait. Those long, interminable months with our city striving to get back to "normal". Among New Yorkers, that was our BIG question--when will life be like it used to? We so desperately needed for life to feel normal again.

We've not forgotten. But I can understand why it can appear to some that we have. It's just that while we're honoring the past we do the only thing we NY'ers know to do: focus on the future. It helps to give us the survival stories we never got, offers a little relief and makes life feel, well, normal again.