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Friday, February 23, 2007

Get your groove back in 4 steps (versus 12)

Britneyspears_2It occured to me when I finished the 8-point action plan for Jet Blue that the person who really needed a plan was Britney. See, Jet Blue is getting feedback everywhere, Brit's just getting knocked. 

Brit, whether or not you ever want to step foot in a recording studio again believe me when I say you'll want the option. Since you're doing 12 steps to get well; I'm recommending 4 more to help you get your groove back:

#1. Make your bald head meaningful. No kidding. Instead of trying to cover it up with wigs (which just draw more attention to it and, therefore, your really bad idea) wrap it in a scarf that supports a charity. Red might be a good charity or, alternatively, a charity that's not getting as much coverage but really needs the love and prime advertising space.

#2. Love those who've loved you. This is critical. Of all my recommendations this gives you the best chance at a bounceback. Get your crew on fan duty. Big time. I'm not talking about those who have over the years downloaded a song of yours, I'm talking about those who have downloaded every single one. You need them and you need to take care of them. Those in your fan club should be getting special treatment like early access to any videos, apologetic emails and journal entries.

#3. Love the one you're NO longer with. Time for a peace treaty. No matter how much you need to bite your lip or take time-outs, strike a truce with K-Fed. Get those kids in a healthy, no-drama environment. If you're marriage wasn't a growth experience make your divorce one. Maybe one day you two can go on Dr. Phil (note that I'm not recommending Oprah for you) and you can talk to how to manage a drama-free divorce and say, "Hey if we could do it, anyone can." Maybe there should even be a duet on your forthcoming album celebrating what you created (your kids) instead of the careers you destroyed.

#4. Start a charity whereas kids are taken care of when mommies need rehab. Make a difference, really. There are enough rehab centers sponsored by stars (in fact you've spent a day at several). The rehab side is taken care of; the daycare side is where you can really help. Many moms on the brink can't leave their children with a full staff and so they never clean up. Be thankful you had the support and show that gratitude by giving to or starting this effort.

Just remember to give back once you've gotten well (and remember your underpants).

P.S.: I intentionally chose a pic from your brighter (less-bald) days. The current look scared my blog too much.

Comments

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CK - Sage advice. It pains me for her kids to see all of this drama.

What a sad situation.

I'm tired of hearing about train wrecks like Britney and Anna Nicole, but your post offers some new and positive thinking on the subject. Your four steps are excellent, especially the idea for a charity to help the "other" victims of substance abuse. Some very smart and productive ideas here, ck.

(So when are you shaving your head?)

Here's another celebrity possessed of great beauty but questionable talent headed for disaster. Now that others have used her up, she seems just another lost child in an adult body.

CK- excellent post! Seriously...

#3 and #4 are my favorites. She could do far worse than giving back and helping others who are less fortunate than her, but in the same boat emotionally. And she would definitely benefit from a little humility and being a better example. I simply love the idea of a duet with K-Fed. THAT would be perfect.

Excellent suggestions.

Nice. I suggest you send this to her in about a year from now. She can't hear you at this point. She also probably doesn't need rehab. She needs psychiatric medication and a bad ass therapist to help her reclaim her soul. She is lost and has no inner power. She's been giving away her power since the first day she began performing. I pray she doesn't end up dead. I don't think she will.

Like I said, she is incapable of hearing your sound and smart advise right now.

Even tapping into the fans that love her so much will be too exhausting for her. They want too much of her.

More snappy marketing genius from one of the brightest thinkers in the blogosphere.

The scarf idea is pure "outside the box" greatness and I felt goosebumps go up and down my spine when I read that.

Same with the Daycare Center for Junkie Moms in Overpriced Low Results Rehab.

These booring misanthropic celebrities who set lousy examples for our youth, they are now seen to be reaping their negative karma, so I feel no pity for the worthless scum.

The resonsibility for the lousy example lies in the hands of people that made her. She's a little girl and she will always be a little girl until she can live her life as herself and not as the image she has been created to be. It's called arrested development. Your asking a woman that probably has the mentality of a 15 year old to behave like an adult. This behavior only demonstrates that she can no longer live the way she has been and she's about to take a profound step towards becoming an adult.

Thanks guys/gals. Where I come from on this post--and a lot of others where I make suggestions--is that it's not always the traditional programs that we should be looking at. There are opportunities for improvement and what I'm pushing for is that some good can come from this.

There's still an opportunity to (1) Save the brand (that's from a marketing vantage point and (2) Do some good through this mishap (that's from a human standpoint).

There are myriad opps in mishaps if we just see them as such. I say that a lot. I'll likely keep saying it. I just found these to be some of those. I would be overjoyed if a charity were to rake in a few million because she donned a scarf. I would giggle (and likely buy) the duet with her and her ex. And I would be so pleased to see her give a few million to daycare so that 10 - 10,000 mommies could get help without further disrupting their kids lives.

And the kicker? People would have more respect for her.

Btw, Tammy: Good point on waiting a year. Believe it or not, about 70% of the ideas above can be implemented by her armies of "people". She need only wear the scarf, honor the child-custody arrangement, sing a song and approve checks. She can be focused on getting better while her workers focus on repairing her as well. Make sense? She may appear white trash but she's more than monied up (and can do good with it).

Brit needs to share a condo with Michael Jackson somewhere on the far side of the earth for about a year or two. She needs to simply disappear for a nice, long while, and get herself out of the news.

Any charitable moves at this red hot moment would be seen as a PR reaction to control the spin. Nothing can help her right now. Sometimes not acting is better than acting. Zen-like for Steve on a Friday, isn't it?

I think you're still tired from your debating with Cam and BL (can't see you as Zen just yet, Denny). Btw, thanks to Cam and you for that and for Cam's most spectacular post on it at his place.

But Back to Brit:

I hear you but you're actually placing the control to disappear with Brit. You think the media won't hound her for at least 6 months? They can either report what they want (they'll make-up debacles if she doesn't feed them more on her own) or she can skew that message positively.

I'm quite sick of her, too. But she will be in the consumer limelight for months. Might as well do something with it.

CK - How thoughtful and kind. One can only hope that the people who really do love her close ranks and intervene.

CK - first thought when I saw B without her golden curls was .. she has cancer and is going thru chemo. building on your give something back idea combined with your scarf idea .. wouldn't it be great to have a line of scarves donated to local hospitals/cancer treatment centers?

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